How to work effectively with a difficult boss


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    Key Books

    Tongue Fu! : How to Deflect, Disarm, & Difuse Any Verbal Conflict

    You're Not the Boss of Me: Empowerment Strategies for an Imperfect Workplace

    The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

    How to Defend Yourself from an Abusive Boss: The Formal Complaint Process

    Reviewer/Reader Feedback: "Is your boss abusive or just a jerk? Grievance specialist Healey explains how "abused" employees can end mistreatment in the workplace."

    Email Link  |  iFaveIt  |  Details @

    Comments: [add a comment]

    User: anonymous
    Date: 7/22/2007 10:30:00 AM

    Bad bosses need to pay and they need to pay through the courts. We need an EMPLOYEE RIGHTS BILL against unjust and improper harassemnet and abuse. They need to protect us against the bad boss, we need the right to sue this bad boss(s). Without the employee no business can provide the services necessary to survive. We, the employee(s) need to walk out on bad boss' until the legislature passes an EMPLOYEE RIGHTS BILL.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 8/6/2007 1:14:00 PM

    Often if a boss is verbally abusive, he is also violating some basic labor laws as well. The abusive boss typically thinks he's above everything, so is sloppy when it comes to legal issues in the workplace. He thinks all he has to do is tell you to jump, and you ask how high, or he'll threaten to fire you, not promote you, not give you a raise, etc. My boss can't stand it when anyone asks him for clarification about his expectations, their role, the measures of success. He likes to play it fast and loose; that way he can keep changing the rules and keep people off guard. Turns out he might be stepping over into violating labor laws by some of his practices. While it's not illegal to be a jerk, jerks often end up violating the law, since labor laws were placed there to deal with people like him. Although I'll continue to look for another job, I've confidentially contacted the US Labor Department over a couple of issues. They might do a labor investigation on the company and his office specifically. If nothing else, it will show him that he's not above the law. Perhaps HR will keep a better eye on him, since managers like him end up being liabilities, costing money in litigation, employee turnover, excessive use of sick leave, etc.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/10/2007 10:52:00 PM

    What do you do when your boss is a verbally abusive attorney?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/8/2007 12:34:00 PM

    Hi anonymous: I, too, work for a verbally abusive attorney. He's a loose cannon. If I do "A", he wants "B". If I do "B", he wants "A". Get the picture? He is never satisifed. I'm a legal assistant. I write most of his correspondence and court pleadings. I do a good job. But, he almost always finds something to complain about. He's very rarely satified with anything I do. I used to get excited about working on a challenging project and knowing that I did a good job. All I ever get from him to negative feedback. I hate it. What is your experience like?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/22/2008 4:53:00 PM

    Hi anonymous I have a boss who said we are not equals! What exactlly is that supposed to mean?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 2/18/2008 10:43:00 AM

    I work for an MD in his business. At the outset of the job we had a verbal agreement that he would pay me half the receipts for each weekend worked. After 6 months of not paying me he states he doesn't have to. He's not making enough, but I still have to work one weekend a month with no days off during the week when I do work the weekend. Do I have any recourse? He is mean, verbally abusive, and is threatening to cut back on my salary. I'm looking for another job, but haven't found one as of yet.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 4/14/2008 1:01:00 PM

    my boss keeps calling us mediocres and stupids, she wants us to be a copy of her, think like her, even to talk like her, i used to respect her a lot in the begining, but now i just feel sorry for her, i know ill find a better job in a profesional environment, but for now this is like living in pure hell...

    User: anonymous
    Date: 4/20/2008 8:13:00 PM

    Working in an "at will" state not only allows for bosses to be theatening bullies, it encourages it. People have families, insurances, and retirements chaining them to their jobs and forcing them to endure the abuse and inhumane working conditions. These lower forms of life exercise their "at will" rights to their fullest advantage. Our new boss snaps into a screaming rage at the drop of a hat. When I reported this violent behavior the corporate office, they told me to leave if I didn't like it. Then he fired me for reporting him (which is perfectly legal in the state of Louisiana). Now the rest of the staff is forced to endure his extremely out of control rages. They said they fear there will be bloodshed soon, but are too scared of him to report it. I'm glad our country fights for the rights of people in other countries, but shouldn't they be concerned about their own people. What will it take for them to realize that this is a serious matter.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/12/2008 7:34:00 PM

    how do you deal with a bad manger when she is the best friend with the adon when she is a bad boss herself

    User: anonymous
    Date: 5/17/2008 6:29:00 PM

    My boss consistently menions how he is an ex army ranger and more than capable to kill. When he gets upset he will slam his fist on the desk and lose his temper shouting and degrading anyone he has a problem with. This frightens all of us because he has continously mentioned how he could easily hide a body! The worst part is his boss loves him and thinks he is great! To top all this off our boss has his boss convinced we want to do noithing but undermine the company. . What would you do?

    User: anonymous
    Date: 6/30/2008 9:27:00 PM

    My boss will blow up if I ask him any questions. I literally mean any question. He only wants his nephew and male employees to excel but he always degrades women, including myself. He makes up rumors and tries everything to make me look bad to get me fired. He is a manipulative, sexist, hypocrite, with the worst temper I have ever seen in a workplace.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 7/11/2008 11:04:00 PM

    What can you do when you love the job but have to suffer under a bad boss. I am currently working for a man who spys on his employees, including using a remote computer and microhones in our offices so he can see what we do and say. On top of that when we have meetings we are told we do what HE wants. We have no say, even though this is supposed to be a committee-run business. We are also put down as stupid, HE is the computer genius. We know nothing. You can see him standing around, doing nothing, giving orders like a military general, if he sees a piece of trash at his feet, he orders someone else to come and get it, he can't get his hands dirty. All of this and he thinks he is God's gift to women. "Taking care of the beautiful women" is his job, this spoken even to his wife in denial.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 9/22/2008 12:13:00 AM

    user anonymous: I too am seemingly stuck in a bad situation of a bad boss. she was hired probably as a friend of a friend, since our company is known for that type of thing. She has been on the job for over 2 yrs now and still is pretty much cluless on ISO procedures and such. She is contantly degrading other employees and making negative accusations about others and the job you are doing. She recently asked me to do something that is the complete opposite of our procedure and when I met with her about it and read her statement back to her, she simply laughed!! I also questioned another statement in her email and she said, i dont know any thing about that... The whole department would quit today if they had other jobs... We are contemplating on visting HR, but know that in the past it hasnt helped others.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/2/2008 2:54:00 AM


    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/2/2008 2:54:00 AM


    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/2/2008 2:57:00 AM


    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/14/2008 5:00:00 PM

    I have a boss that is very biased. Some of her employees can do anything and she allows it. If you are on her 'list' it doesn't matter how good an employee you are or how hard you work, she find something negative. She is constantly watching to find any mistake that I might make, even though that almost never happens. I think the solution is to quit and find another job because there is no one above her that listens to anything we have to say about her. It is very frustrating and painful working under such a person!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/19/2008 7:59:00 PM

    My low life no class boss took me to see his boss trying to make a case of disobediance. I said besides work he and I are equal. This 6'1" man's face turn yellow and his head strunk. All of the sudden, I see he has lots of hair surrounding his middle bald head. He has been treated me like a child and I told them my pay check does not worth that. When I walked out I wasn't even shaking. He thinks he owns his employees. He is in the wrong country and wrong century.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 11/19/2008 8:39:00 PM

    Unfortunately, bad bosses are very seldom dealt with by upper management. My bad boss has bragged to me about all the people she has fired and all the lawsuits she's gotten out of. She is above everything. She has been bullying me ever since I complained to her boss of her discriminating against me and he adjusted my salary to that of my predecessor. Since then, she is nice to me in front of witnesses, then chews me out when there aren't any. Most recently, she threatened to write me up for not being friendly enough to her because I speak when spoken to and don't seek her out for small talk! I probably have an air-tight retaliation case but don't want to put myself through the whole process and plan to leave as soon as I can find something else. Complaining on her the first time just made things worse. Employees and supervisors should be separated as soon as the complaint is made so that the employee can get some relief while the complaint is investigated. Unfortunately this is not usually the case and the employee is left wide-open for more retaliation.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/2/2008 1:47:00 AM

    Solution is to kill the boss

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/2/2008 1:47:00 AM

    Agree with u

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/2/2008 7:32:00 PM

    My boss owns the company so there's no one to complain to. He makes everyone miserable; such a narcisist. Screams and yells at employees until they literally break down and then an hour later acts like nothing happened. He does this to other employees and it has been happening more frequently lately. Sometimes I think he's going to snap and do something crazy. He's definitely a sick man, but with this economy, not much of a choice right now but to stay. Can't wait until the day I can walk out of there.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/7/2008 10:08:00 PM

    I have the same issue as above. The owner of my company is abusive in every way. Because of the economy, we just deal with it and try not to take it personal - even though it is very, very difficult. He has even driven mid-management into serious health issues. I have heard from a couple ex-employees that this particular person is going to go down and to start looking for other employment. Problem is I love my job; every aspect of it is fabulous except for his explosive and violent temper - yelling, screaming, degrading and offensive comments and even throwing things. What can you do if you love your job - but want to see him pay for what he has done to people>

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/12/2008 9:55:00 PM

    Our Ops Mgr is pyscho. Today he reemed me because our mid morning bruch wasnt healthy enough without ever having given me any specifics on what he wanted served. We had fruit, cheese, dip and donut holes. I wanted to put his face into the dip!

    User: anonymous
    Date: 12/26/2008 1:24:00 PM

    My boss is extremely selfish and abusive. She disapproved my vacation request last month saying 'It is the busiest time of the year' and then she takes the day after thanksgiving and the week of Christmas off. According to her, I can't go on a vacation when I want, but only when she feels like letting me take vacation. Our city was recently hammered by snow. she said she won't be coming in until all the snow is gone, because it is not safe to drive. But she told me that I need to be here because there should be someone in the office. She lives closer to work and I struggle three hours a day to get here. My car spinned many times and finally hit a pile of snow and now needs repair. Now I have to rent a car to be here and I'm left with a $500 repair bill. She didn't even show up one day since we had this massive snow. She's the most selfish and immature person I've ever met. I can't believe such a unprofessional person still has a job at this company.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/8/2009 5:09:00 PM

    Read this book, "How to deal with emotionally explosive people" by Albert Bernstein and quit your job. Cut them off by quitting and that solves it.

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/17/2009 6:28:00 AM

    My daughter comes home from work very distressed. Her boss called everyone in the office c..ts and they work from 8.30 to 6.30 he expects them in at 8 and not leave until 7.30 he wants them all to work Sundays and they only have one day off every two weeks and have to explain what they are doing. Surely this behaviour is illegal, can anyone suggest how I can help her, other than going in the office and punching him...

    User: anonymous
    Date: 1/26/2009 4:12:00 PM

    worked for a TOXIC BOSS he is so sick lies lies lies and even has other employees lie for him or he threatens to fire them so they are just as sick as him maybe he will have a bad wreck and croak we can only hope he is sick......

    User: maria8
    Date: 11/18/2009 10:33:00 AM

    Get a life, all of you. Life isn't easy and you should all be thankful that you have a job. Your complaints are petty and you all sound like a bunch of cry babies. Grow up.

    User: nottakingit
    Date: 12/9/2009 10:32:00 PM

    Piss off, Maria. Here's a clue sweetie: put down that bag of Doritos, put away the bon-bons, go get a ged, and drag your sweaty, hairy 400 lb fat ass to the nearest employment office. Until then, bitch, shut the fuck up.

    User: nottakingit
    Date: 12/9/2009 10:37:00 PM

    My bosses love to tell us that we're getting bonuses, Christmas dinners, etc, in an effort to keep us motivated to continue going "above and beyond". Then, sure enough, at the end of the year there are no bonuses and no Christmas dinner. I don't care since I'm there for a paycheck and nothing else, but a few of my coworkers are really p****d about the no dinner/bonus things. But you know, they can only make you work just hard enough not to be fired.

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